Redshirt Apologist Violates Prime Directive, Feeds the Trolls


“Just spent 7 hours talking about the difference between Spiderman and Jesus. He’s totally about to bend the knee to Christ.”

BERKLEY, CA — Tragedy cast a dark pall over the Federation last Thursday as crew members gathered in remembrance of a young Christian apologist recruit who purportedly violated the prime directive to never feed the trolls. An investigation is currently under way to determine whether the fresh-out-of-the-Academy servicemember was mentally incompetent or willfully stupid. Ambassador Clinton Wilcox released the following statement on behalf of the Federation:

“It is with great sadness that we must all now confront the reality and great consequences of troll-feeding. The late recruit had the same training as everyone else – hours upon hours of Facebook and Reddit playback illustrating the vortex of pointlessness into which many predecessors had been lured. He may have been wearing a red shirt, but several signs indicate that his choice to ignore the prime directive was not coerced. While the investigation is ongoing, we can say with confidence that the troll was tossing out a trail of irrelevant and insincere comments, all of which are readily found in the apologist’s field manual. We sincerely hope that this avoidable loss serves as reinforcement of the importance and great wisdom of the prime directive.”

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