SHREVEPORT, LOUISIANA — “Lots and lots of prayer.” This was the answer given by veteran evangelist Herb O’Connell when asked how he managed to survive 45 years as a local missionary without offering a single defense of the essential truths of Christianity even once. This remarkable achievement is made all the more impressive given O’Connell’s strict regimen of sharing the Gospel with at least 50 lost souls per week. Our faux correspondent caught up with O’Connell at his local congregation’s monthly potluck:
Faux Correspondent (FC): Mr. O’Connell, you have been sharing the Gospel for a remarkably long time in this area. Surely there must have been many people that asked for good reasons or evidence that Christianity is true.
Herb O’Connell (HC): Oh, yes. That’s correct. But, you see, the Lord generously blessed me with the gift of avoiding those particular topics. I’ve developed a whole host of ways to skirt apologetics (I call it the A-word!) altogether. Rapid topic change, rambling anecdotes, bathroom breaks, pointing and yelling “Look!” – these are just a few of the techniques in my toolbox and I have them ready as soon as I step through that door. I also pray in the car beforehand that the Lord would make my divine appointments evidence-free. I think my longevity demonstrates my method’s effectiveness.
FC: Demonstrates? As in, “serves as evidence in favor of”?
HC: Have you tried my wife’s casserole? I’ll tell you about how she came by that recipe when I get back from the men’s room. Look!